Whinging!

So... my daughter is a bit of a whinger... and my partner and I have been trying to figure out how to 

1. either tone it down, or 2. make it stop altogether, the latter being the preference!

We originally went down the route of attempting to explain that we don't like it when she whinges, and would prefer for her to use her big girl words...  a reasonable attempt and explanation, which worked... sometimes, but... when due to tiredness or frustration we answer to her whinges, it only encourages her to whinge again as a way of communicating.  

My background is in childcare, so I have a few tools, but felt really stuck and cornered when nothing seemed to be working.

Can I just add, that you can only control how your child reacts to you, by how you deal with their behaviour... they will behave differently for your partner, depending on what your partners reaction is!

The reason we came to the decision I am about to tell you, is that neither of us like to ignore our daughter, my partner finds it particularly difficult, so going down this route meant that there was no need to ignore our precious girl.

I call it the pardon rule!  Every time our daughter whinges, I say pardon... she usually repeats what she is trying to tell me 3 or 4 times, whilst still whinging... and then there is a click in her brain...'Hey this doesn't seem to be working for me', and she alters her voice and asks without whinging, which is when I reply!

Note:  You must reply immediately when the whinging ceases, to encourage your child to ask properly, their reaction time will begin to get faster and faster as they realise this is a far more efficient way of getting your attention!

Good luck!  Hope it works for you!